30 Things to Consider Before Choosing Your Donor

Choosing an egg donor is one of the most significant decisions in the journey to parenthood. While factors like medical history and genetic screening are crucial, there are many other aspects—ethical, emotional, and practical—that need careful thought. Below are 30 essential questions to guide you through this decision, along with detailed explanations of why each one matters.

1. Why Are You Choosing an Egg Donor?

Before diving into the selection process, reflect on why you need an egg donor. Is it due to medical infertility, a same-sex partnership, or a genetic condition you want to avoid passing on? Your motivations will help shape your priorities and approach when selecting a donor.

2. Do You Want a Known or Anonymous Donor?

Egg donors can be anonymous, semi-open, or known. An anonymous donor provides privacy, but your child may one day want to know their genetic origins. A known donor gives both you and your child more access to information related to where they came from and any medical issues they should be aware of as they potentially arise as the donor ages. Known donation is also heavily preferred by donor conceived people.

3. What Role, If Any, Will the Donor Have in Your Child’s Life?

If using a known donor or opting for an open donation, you should decide in advance what level of contact the donor may have with you and your child before they are 18. Some donors agree to occasional updates, while others may be open to future meetings.

4. What Medical History Do You Need to Review?

A donor’s family medical history can provide insight into potential hereditary conditions. Your doctor will look for patterns of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, mental health conditions, and other genetic disorders that may be passed to your child.

5. Does the Donor Have a History of Successful Donations?

Some donors have a track record of successful pregnancies, which can indicate better egg quality. While first-time donors can still be a great choice, a history of successful retrievals or their own children can provide extra confidence in your selection.

6. How Important Are Physical Traits?

Many intended parents seek donors who resemble them or their partner to create a sense of genetic continuity. If this matters to you, consider traits such as height, hair color, eye color, and facial features.

7. What About Intellectual and Educational Background?

While intelligence is influenced by both genetics and environment, some intended parents value donors with strong academic backgrounds or specific talents in music, science, or athletics. Consider whether this is important in your donor search and to your family. Also, consider the nurture vs. nature component and understand that a lot of these particulars will be dictated about parental guidance and expectations.

8. Are You Looking for Specific Personality Traits?

Personality traits, such as kindness, determination, or extroversion, have both genetic and environmental influences. Some donor profiles include personality assessments or essays that can help you gauge their disposition.

9. What Lifestyle Factors Matter to You?

A donor’s lifestyle can impact their egg quality. Factors such as a healthy diet, exercise habits, and avoidance of smoking, drugs, or excessive alcohol use can contribute to higher-quality eggs and a successful retrieval. Your Reproductive Endocrinologist will also screen for toxins during the in person medical screening of the donor.

10. Is the Donor’s Ethnicity or Cultural Background Important?

For some families, it’s important that their donor shares their ethnic or cultural background, either for genetic continuity or cultural reasons. Others may be open to diversity. Consider your personal preferences and any potential implications for your child’s identity.

11. What Are Your Views on Genetic Testing?

Most clinics screen donors for common genetic conditions, but you may want more extensive testing if you or your sperm provider are carriers of specific genetic disorders. Ensure the donor has been tested for recessive conditions that could be a concern.

12. How Important Is Fertility and Reproductive Health History?

A donor’s past reproductive history, such as previous pregnancies or egg retrievals, can provide valuable insight into her fertility potential. However, first-time donors can still be a great option if they meet medical qualifications.

13. Do You Want a Donor with a Similar Blood Type?

While not a requirement, some parents prefer matching blood types in case a future medical situation requires compatibility, such as organ or blood donation within the family.

14. Have You Considered Psychological Screening?

A well-screened donor should undergo psychological evaluation to ensure she fully understands the implications of egg donation, is emotionally stable, and has no underlying mental health conditions that could be inherited. This can be set up through either the clinic or the egg donor agency.

15. Are You Comfortable with the Donor’s Motivation?

Donors may be motivated by financial compensation, altruism, or both. It’s important that they are making the decision willingly and understand the process fully.

16. How Old Should the Donor Be?

The ideal age range for an egg donor is between 21 and 30 years old. Younger eggs tend to have higher success rates, but overly young donors may lack the maturity to make an informed decision about donation, although this is not always the case.

17. What Is Your Budget?

Egg donation can range from a $6000 for frozen eggs to $150,000 or more for a fresh cycle. Consider the financial implications, including agency fees, legal costs, and medical expenses.

18. Will You Use Fresh or Frozen Donor Eggs?

Fresh donor cycles mean that you are partnering with a donor who will donate directly to you and, on the day of the retrieval, embryos will be created with your sperm provider. Frozen egg are purchase in cohorts or straws and the donor has already had the retrieval and the eggs were frozen. Frozen eggs are less expensive but also have a less successful live birth rate than a fresh donor cycle.

19. What Are the Legal Considerations?

Laws around egg donation vary by state. Ensure your donor agreement clearly outlines parental rights, anonymity, and any future contact expectations. Consulting a reproductive attorney is essential.

20. Are You Comfortable with the Donor’s Level of Disclosure?

Some donors provide detailed personal histories, while others prefer minimal disclosure. Consider what level of transparency you need for your peace of mind and your child’s future.

21. Does the Donor Have a Family of Their Own?

Some intended parents prefer donors who have already had children, as this indicates proven fertility. However, donors without children can still have high-quality eggs. Additionally, the donor’s children are the half biological sibling of your future child and something to consider as you move forward with your donor.

22. What Are Your Feelings About Future Sibling Matches?

If you plan to have more children later, you may want to choose a donor with extra frozen eggs available or one who is open to future donations.

23. How Does the Donor’s Genetic Background Align With Your Sperm Provider’s?

Some conditions require two carriers to pass them on. If you or your sperm provider are carriers of any genetic conditions, ensure the donor is not a carrier of the same condition. Your Reproductive Endocrinologist will be able to screen for these genes and a genetic counselor can address any issues or concerns.

24. Have You Considered Ethical Implications?

Egg donation raises ethical questions about embryo disposition, anonymity, and disclosure to your child. Consider your values and what you feel comfortable with.

25. How Will You Talk to Your Child About Their Origins?

Experts recommend open conversations about donor conception, the earlier the better. There are several books available geared towards children of all ages that help explain family building in age appropriate ways. Secrecy in donations create shame and should never be the chosen path for your child.

26. What Are the Clinic or Agency’s Screening Standards?

Not all clinics and agencies have the same screening protocols. Research their processes for medical, genetic, and psychological evaluations and have these conversations early on with your Reproductive Endocrinologist.

27. Do You Have Religious or Moral Considerations?

If you have religious beliefs that impact fertility treatments, such as views on embryo freezing or donor anonymity, ensure your choice aligns with your values. Does your religion require you to partner with a donor of the same religion? Talk to your religious leaders if this is an important piece of your life.

28. How Will You Handle Unexpected Genetic Findings?

Genetic screenings may reveal unexpected conditions. Be prepared for how you would handle such findings and make a plan with your doctor about next steps.

29. Do You Prefer a First-Time or Experienced Donor?

Experienced donors have proven success, but first-time donors may have healthier eggs due to fewer prior retrievals. Again, talk with your Reproductive Endocrinologist about whether or not to partner with an experienced donor. Also, understand that experienced donors are typically more expensive.

30. What Does Your Heart Say?

At the end of the day, choosing a donor is about more than just science—it’s about finding someone who feels right for your family. Trust your instincts and partner with professsionals who can help and guide you through the process.

Final Thoughts
While Roots Surrogacy does not facilitate any egg donation, we are well versed in the community and know all of the key players. Please reach out as we are happy to make recommendations and referrals to egg donor agencies and banks.