5 Surrogacy Agency Myths, Busted by a Former Surrogate

Do surrogacy agencies just rush matches for the money?

No. A good full-service agency slows down where it matters: screening, alignment, and support from intake through birth. Surrogates are rarely in it for money alone. Independent journeys save the agency fee, not the work. And an experienced surrogate doesn't change live birth odds.

Listen to the full episode, The Surrogacy Space Ep. 41: "Agency MythBusters," on YouTube, Spotify, or Greenspoon Marder.

Here’s the myths we’ll talk through:

Myth #1: Agencies match as fast as possible

Myth #2: Surrogates only do it for the money

Myth #3: The agency's job ends at the match

Myth #4: Independent is cheaper, so skip the agency

Myth #5: You need an experienced surrogate

Myth 1: "Agencies want to match people as fast as possible"

"Categorically untrue, at least for Roots," Brooke said. Every agency wants to help parents have a baby yesterday. But "the problem with just matching as fast as humanly possible is that steps get skipped and corners get cut."

Those steps exist for a reason. They protect the intended parents, the surrogate, and the child. Brooke calls it child-centered advocacy: getting to a healthy baby without hurting anyone along the way.

What a careful match lines up

Brooke describes matching as a Venn diagram with three circles:

The clinic. Baseline medical criteria tied to outcomes. At Roots, that means age 22 to 39, a BMI under 30, a healthy pregnancy and delivery history, and no more than two C-sections. These rule out thousands of applicants every year.
The intended parents. What matters to them. A married surrogate, a religious preference, views on termination, a certain state, a kosher or organic diet.
The surrogate. What matters to her. Parents in the U.S., for example, or parents under a certain age.

A good match is the small space where all three overlap. Finding it takes time.

Myth 2: "Surrogates only do it for the money"

The numbers don't support it. Brooke puts average first-time surrogate pay in the U.S. at about $50,000. Roots pays $60,000. But a journey takes about two years, and that's a good one:

About four months of intake, getting to know each other.
Four to five months of prep after matching: medical records review, medical screening, the legal contract, and about three weeks of medication. Sometimes the meds don't work and it starts over.
Then the pregnancy itself.

"Even if you're making $60,000, that's $30,000 a year," Brooke said. For that, she carries a baby, takes on medical risk, travels, spends time away from her own kids, and gives up sushi and wine.

Wanting to help your family financially is fine. Brooke said so plainly. But it can't be the whole reason. "There is somebody tethered to this where their heart is on the line, too." The women who carry with Roots understand that someone on the other end has been through a lot to get here.

When do parents see what a surrogate costs?

From the first conversation. Roots publishes its pricing on its website, with a cost calculator and "what if" scenarios. Nothing is gated. When Roots proposes a match, parents get:

An introduction email. Her highlight reel, plus a flag on anything outside what they asked for. For example, her insurance isn't surrogate-friendly, or she lives in Kansas when they wanted the East Coast.
Her profile. Six to eight pages: hobbies, pregnancy and delivery history, photos of her family.
Her surrogate benefits package. Every line item and when it's paid. She reviews and signs it before the legal stage.

"Nobody likes talking about money and babies in the same sentence," Brooke said. Settling it early keeps it out of the contract negotiation. Marla agreed: "All that front end work helps so much at the legal stage."

Myth 3: "Once the match is made, the agency's job is done"

"That is true for some agencies," Brooke said. So ask every agency you talk to: are you a matching agency, or full-service? Some find you a surrogate and step away. Others cap their hours or only check in at set points.

Roots is full-service from the first call through birth and beyond. Each case manager touches every case five times a week. That means talking with the parents, the surrogate, the attorneys, and the clinic.

What that looks like after the match:

Finding a new OB in her insurance network, within driving distance, at a hospital with the right NICU
Checking her insurance for surrogacy exclusions
Booking all her travel and stays
Managing escrow so she's reimbursed and paid on time
Helping parents find nannies, book a place near the delivery, and set up a hospital tour
Wellness support through Childbirth Allies: pelvic floor therapy, doula care, and child care
Extras parents can choose, like meal delivery, home gym equipment, chiropractic care, and acupuncture

"Healthy surrogate, healthy baby," Brooke said. Parents and surrogates also build their own direct relationship. It doesn't have to run through the agency.

Myth 4: "Independent matches are cheaper, so skip the agency"

"It is cheaper. That is true," Brooke said. "Because you don't pay an agency fee. But that's it."

The work still has to happen. That includes a psych evaluation, a background check, a joint psych session, and a reputable clinic. Without an agency, someone still has to make sure each step gets done.

Brooke said many of the problems attorneys see come from independent matches. Neither side has done this before, so neither knows what's supposed to happen next. She compared it to managing your own cancer care. Some independent journeys go beautifully. But there are better ways to save money:

Compare agencies. They don't all cost the same or offer the same programs.
Ask your attorney, reproductive endocrinologist, and psychologist who they trust.
Check fertility benefits. Brooke has had clients change jobs to get them.

Myth 5: "You need an experienced surrogate"

Brooke was direct: "There's no statistical differentiation between a first-time carrier and a repeat carrier in live birth."

A past journey shows that a surrogate's heart is in the right place. It also shows that it worked with that embryo, that protocol, that doctor, and her body at that time. None of that carries over "apples to apples" to a new journey.

What does carry over is her pregnancy history. "The best indication of future pregnancies is past pregnancies," Brooke said. That's why Roots looks closely at:

Past complications
Gestational diabetes needing insulin
High blood pressure or preeclampsia
Other risk factors in past pregnancies

Roots loves its returning surrogates, and many come back. But Brooke cautions both sides that a second journey may feel very different. A surrogate whose first journey was hard may hold back. One whose first was wonderful may expect the same pace from shy new parents. A great surrogate is wonderful. Look at the whole picture.

Where should intended parents start?

Start with a specialist, not a Facebook group. If you've talked to an attorney or a clinic, tell them what you need from an agency. Then let their network grow yours.

Brooke is honest that Roots isn't for everyone. There are about 10,000 surrogacy cases a year in the U.S., and Roots manages about 150. When Roots isn't the right fit, she refers parents to agencies she trusts.

She also asked listeners to keep the headlines in perspective. California has had surrogacy since the 1980s, with tens of thousands of happy outcomes. "We're having babies here," she said. The hard cases in the news are rare.

Frequently asked questions

What does a full-service surrogacy agency do after matching?

It stays with you through birth. That includes finding OBs, reviewing insurance, booking travel, managing escrow, and coordinating wellness care. Roots case managers touch every case five times a week.

How much do surrogates get paid?

Brooke puts the U.S. average for a first-time surrogate at about $50,000. Roots pays first-time surrogates $60,000 base. Spread over a journey of about two years, it works out to about $30,000 a year.

Is an independent surrogacy journey cheaper?

Yes, by the agency fee. But the screening, legal, and coordination work still has to happen. Brooke says many problems attorneys see come from independent matches.

Is an experienced surrogate more likely to succeed?

Not according to Brooke. She says there's no statistical difference in live birth between first-time and repeat surrogates. Her past pregnancy health is a better guide.

How long does surrogacy take?

About two years for the surrogate on a good journey. That's about four months of intake, four to five months of prep after matching, then pregnancy.

What are the requirements to be a Roots surrogate?

Age 22 to 39, a BMI under 30, a healthy pregnancy and delivery history, and no more than two C-sections. Matching also weighs character, values, and fit with the parents.

Find your fit

You're not choosing a profile from a database. You're choosing the woman who will carry one of the most meaningful chapters of your life. If you want an agency that takes that as seriously as you do, start your journey with Roots.

Listen to the full episode, The Surrogacy Space Ep. 41: "Agency MythBusters," on YouTube, Spotify, or Greenspoon Marder.