TL;DR: Choosing a surrogacy agency isn't simply choosing someone to coordinate a process. You're choosing the people who will guide one of the most meaningful chapters of your life. Many common misconceptions—from how surrogates are screened to who holds escrow—can lead to unnecessary risk, expense, and disappointment. This guide explains what intended parents should know, what questions to ask, and how Roots approaches each step differently.

What Should Intended Parents Look for in a Surrogacy Agency?

The best surrogacy agencies share several characteristics. They:

• Thoroughly screen surrogates before matching.
• Match based on values, communication style, and compatibility—not simply availability.
• Require independent legal counsel for both parties.
• Use independent third-party escrow.
• Review insurance before legal contracts are finalized.
• Communicate consistently throughout the journey.
• Continue supporting both intended parents and surrogates after delivery.

At Roots, these aren't optional services—they're the foundation of every journey we manage.

Why Do So Many Misconceptions Exist?

By the time most intended parents begin researching surrogacy, they've often spent years carrying the emotional weight of infertility, loss, uncertainty, or difficult decisions.

They're not simply looking for an agency.

They're looking for people they can trust with one of the most meaningful journeys of their lives.

Unfortunately, much of the information online treats surrogacy as a checklist of legal and medical steps, making it easy to assume every agency approaches the journey the same way.

They don't.

Understanding these misconceptions can help you choose an agency that protects not only your investment—but also the experience of building your family.

1. "Any healthy woman can become a surrogate."

Not safely, and not ethically. A qualified carrier typically needs a strong prior pregnancy history, stable health, emotional readiness, and a support system that can handle the demands of IVF and pregnancy. At Roots, surrogate vetting takes about four months and includes medical record review, lab work, background investigation, household screening, social media review, and a two-part psychological evaluation. We accept roughly 1% of applicants. Why does that matter?

Because the woman carrying your child becomes part of one of the most meaningful chapters of your family's story.

That is not gatekeeping — it is what real screening looks like.Medical qualifications are only part of thoughtful screening. At Roots, we believe intended parents deserve more than a medically qualified surrogate. They deserve someone whose compassion, emotional maturity, resilience, and generosity have been carefully evaluated long before introductions begin.

2. "Matching is just scrolling a database."

It should not be. A transactional match creates avoidable problems later. At Roots, there is no database and no shopping-cart model — you review one carefully chosen profile at a time, matched for alignment on values, communication style, logistics, and clinical fit. You're not simply choosing a profile. You're choosing the woman who will walk beside your family throughout one of the most important experiences of your life.

3. "One attorney can represent everyone."

That is a red flag, not a shortcut. You and your surrogate should always have separate, independent legal counsel. Shared representation creates a conflict of interest that puts both of you at risk.

4. "It's fine if the agency holds escrow."

It is not better for you — it is more convenient for the agency. Surrogacy funds should sit in independent, licensed third-party escrow, never held by the agency itself. That separation protects both sides and removes an obvious conflict of interest.

5. "Insurance is simple."

It is not. Surrogacy insurance needs line-by-line review. Some health plans carry exclusions tied to surrogacy arrangements, and carrier policies vary widely (ART Risk Solutions). Do not assume an agency has already checked this unless they can tell you exactly how and when.

6. "Surrogacy moves fast if you have the money."

Money can affect pace. It does not erase biology, screening timelines, or legal process. A realistic journey still involves screening, IVF scheduling, legal contracts, and transfer preparation — and a program that promises speed without explaining what makes that possible is worth a second look. Thoughtful agencies don't optimize for speed. They optimize for thoughtful decisions, careful matching, and long-term success.

7. "Higher fees automatically mean better service."

Not on their own. Ask what the fee actually includes, who manages your case day to day, and what happens if something goes wrong. A real answer should be specific — not a brochure description.

8. "Once a transfer succeeds, the hard part is over."

Pregnancy is the start of a new phase, not the finish line. Medication monitoring, OB transition, parentage coordination, birth planning, hospital communication, and postpartum support all still need to happen. At Roots, weekly communication continues through the fourth trimester, not just through a positive beta.

9. "Surrogacy is just a transaction."

Surrogacy requires contracts, legal protections, financial safeguards, and medical expertise.

But it also requires extraordinary people.

The woman carrying your child isn't simply providing a service. She becomes part of your family's story forever.

That's why Roots intentionally builds a community around exceptional intended parents and extraordinary women in surrogacy.

When the people involved matter this much, the relationship should never feel transactional.

Questions Every Intended Parent Should Ask Before Choosing a Surrogacy Agency

Any agency can promise great service. The best agencies can clearly explain how they protect intended parents and surrogates at every stage of the journey.

You are hiring the project manager for one of the most important journeys of your life. Do not worry about sounding difficult.

1. Who actually leads your first call? At Roots, Brooke leads every intended parent intro call personally.
2. How many matches does the agency manage each year? Roots intentionally stays around 125 to 150 matches a year so caseloads stay manageable.
3. How do you decide which surrogates become part of your program?
4. How do you evaluate emotional readiness—not just medical qualifications?
5. How are surrogates screened? You want specifics, not marketing language.
6. Is escrow independent? It should be.
7. Do both parties have independent legal counsel? They should.
8. How often will you get updates? Weekly communication should be normal, not exceptional.
9. What happens if a transfer fails? A real plan, not a vague reassurance.

What does it cost?

Costs vary by clinic, state, and individual circumstances, but a full-service Roots journey — agency fee, surrogate compensation, legal, and escrow — typically totals $150,000 to $300,000. Be cautious of any agency that won't give you a real number, or that only offers a "custom quote" with no floor.

Frequently asked questions

Why do some agencies accept so few surrogates?

Thoughtful screening takes time. Agencies with highly selective screening processes are evaluating much more than medical eligibility—they're also looking for emotional readiness, reliability, communication, support systems, and the qualities that help create successful long-term relationships between surrogates and intended parents.

How should intended parents compare surrogacy agencies?

Don't compare agencies on price alone. Compare how they screen surrogates, structure legal protections, manage escrow, communicate throughout the journey, support both parties after birth, and explain their matching philosophy.

Is surrogacy legal everywhere?

No. It depends on the state, the contract structure, and the professionals involved. Roots works only in surrogacy-friendly states that support pre-birth parentage orders, which keeps the legal path clearer.

How long does the process take?

It varies. Match timing alone can range from a few weeks to many months, and that's before medical screening, legal clearance, and transfer preparation.

What's the biggest red flag to watch for?

Vagueness — about cost, about who holds escrow, about how screening works. A program that can't give specifics is usually hiding soft selectivity somewhere else.

How Roots Approaches This

At Roots, we believe intended parents deserve more than a medically qualified surrogate. They deserve extraordinary women whose compassion, resilience, emotional maturity, and generosity have been thoughtfully evaluated before a match is ever made. That's why we intentionally screen surrogates over approximately four months, require independent legal counsel and escrow, match one family at a time, and continue supporting both intended parents and surrogates through the fourth trimester.

The Bottom Line

Misinformation about surrogacy doesn't just create confusion — it creates real legal, financial, and emotional risk. The agencies worth trusting are the ones that can answer every question above with specifics, not reassurance. Ask the hard questions early; it's the surest way to protect your journey before it starts.

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